My mind is in a whirl.

I hate exams, it drives me crazy.

I hate cramp, it makes me moody.

The killer paper is finally over. Hopefully i'll pass and i'm never gonna do Organic again. :)

The trust breached.
Disappointment overpowered.
I hate myself for loving him so much that i'm so affected by the little actions of his.
So much about the word TRUST again. Sometimes, i really hate the existence of this particular word. Probably without it, i'll live a happier person.

The phobia of another broken promise is haunting.

I no longer pin that 100% trust. I don't want to fall too greatly again.

is it only on organic or is it due to hyperthyroidism?

I fear...

the organic paper on wed and the result of my test.

Recently, mom mentioned that my neck area has a slight pertruding lump and i was told by baby's bro to go for a thyroid test too. Haas.. Just because some symptoms mentioned telly and most importantly, i eat but don't grow fat, I'm suspected positive. :) Nevertheless, i'm gonna heed the advice to go for a test after my papers and if unfortunately positive, i'm gonna rely on the pills for life and grow horizontally? Gawd... It better don't be, else i'll be super depressed coz i really do prefer my size now, a little petite but fine. :)

Singtel's Sweet Treats

$40 Tangs gift voucher

What should i buy?

Hmmm...

Sloggi Bra at $59.90?

Shu emura or anna sui cosmetics?

I'm finally turning 21 in 3 weeks time.

Perhaps, my aunt was right. Our parents provided too much for us that we took it all for granted. We (at least for my cousins and i that i observed), don't bother to even save up for rainy days. Our perspective solely is.. whatever we earn from our holiday jobs, we just use it to buy the things we like... and when we were told to pay for our own bills, we start to grumble and show lousy attitude... coz we just needed more money to spend on the things we like. If our parents were to splurge at this rate like we do, how can they provide us with the luxurious life we have now that we don't really appreciate? All these are just about responsibilities that we are running from.

It's probably a girl's nature to be more KPO... and not so much about trust. It's just like placing one fish infront of a cat and ask the cat not to eat. I don't know exactly how to explain the feeling of wanting to read about what had happened but plainly reading.

Stubborn.

Spoilt.

Rude.

Wilful.

Probably it was my strong stand that irks him. I sounded stubborn, self-centered and spoilt. I was only trying to bring my point across clearly that i never wanted to be treated the same way many ladies are... Like the way they dress up and are accused of being flaunting. C'mon, what's wrong with dressing up nicely even as one is married with kids? Does that indicates that they are flaunting?

Then again, the question is, why bother to even dress up so nicely? Doesn't it means that you are dressing up for others to see too?

And, what's wrong with that? Now that i'm merely hitting 21 and i've the calibre to.. why not? Other half is there to protect me and not to refrain me from dressing up nicely. I'm not saying here that my other half stops me from dolling up but what i meant really is, dolling up is almost every girl's passion ranging from the young to the old, and especially me... i want to be a hot mama and even a glamorous grandma even as i age.

Perhaps, i just want my other half to be so proud of me and never get sick and tired of me coz i'm always in different style and also, to stay appealing every single day. Beauty is what i possess and so i'll make full use of what is given.

And so, my baby hun bought me the bag in surprise. He bought me the 1st one and now the 2nd... Initially, i was rather annoyed by him coz he did not want to answer my questions seriously especially when i asked to go to city link to buy the bag after one night of consideration. Anyway, he enlisted the help of his bro and surprised me with it... though somehow before i received the bag, i knew it somehow... coz his dad let the cat out of the bag unknowingly through the telephone conversation with his bro. LOL.... his dad said, "Oh.. so you are at city link helping delwyn lim to collect things...."